Writing

 

Technological dyslexia

by Andrew Bock, Radio Script, ABC

The other morning, the phone rang while I was on the toilet so I ran out and grabbed the TV remote control, pressed a button and put it to my ear. The television came on at full volume just as the toast burnt and set off the smoke alarm.

I reset the smoke alarm and then remembered I wanted to record a TV show. I looked for the instruction manual to the DVD player. I couldn’t find it so I looked for the help button. Then I realised I wouldn’t find the help button without the instruction manual.

I wondered if I could get my objects wired so they made a noise when I was looking for them. Sort of like cars do.  My car keys could honk when I misplaced them. My door keys could make a slamming noise. And remote controls would bleat like lambs. I’d never lose objects again.

The trouble is you can’t trust one technology to make a distinct noise these days. Phones are trying to be computers, computers are trying to be televisions and laptops are trying to be central heaters. Objects have identity crises. If they all made noises at once, it’d be like lyrebirds at Retravision.

We need one object that does everything. One box. With about ten buttons, maximum. One box to rule over all the other boxes. Maybe Frodo could find it.

A few years ago, I asked Peter Olufson, the chairman of Bang &Olufson, if his company could make one box that did everything. He said no probs. They could make the One box that did everything but the distribution companies - of cable, DVDs, CDs, computer games, radio, TV, broadcasts, podcasts etc – would never allow it.

I decided to start praying for the one box. I believed we could do it. If we could get enough people praying for the one box. We just needed faith. But I was running late for work.

I decided to go the chemist and see if they had any tablets for technological dyslexia.

© Copyright Andrew Bock 2010. All rights protected.